During which they jerk around uncontrollably like a dyslexic camel on angel dust, slobber like a two year old and collapse in a coma for the next hour, only to wake up and ask you “Did you come,” without realizing that you’d already left for Pizza Hut and have already finished off the entire extra meat/extra cheese. It takes another hour before they realize that they have actually queried the dog as to his coital satisfaction, to which Fido has responded with a lick to the face, to which comatose man relaxes back into sleep completely convinced that he’s done his job. Meanwhile you drive to the local Fantasies store and get yourself a buzzer.

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Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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