DreedW,

I’m not entirely sure if much of what you asked was more rhetorical than direct, but if I may: ALL my sixty plus friends are out, busy, active, athletic, vibrant, engaged, brilliant. Many of them have businesses, some of the (like me) have several, and we all make an effort. We ALL exercise, when it’s appropriate we put on makeup. I struggle to get where you get your reference points, but then again, where I live, the people I choose to be around, my god, Dreed. They are amazing. For my part, I am an athlete, and makeup gets in the way of my workouts. If I have to address a crowd, kindly, of course I dress up. If I have a date (which is bloody joke these days) I would, but I no longer date. Honestly, who do you hang out with that you have so few remarkable aging women in your quiver of friends?

As you say, imaginary friends. It strikes me that your assumptions are a little dusty to say the least. Your reality isn’t mine. While I fully recognize that there are plenty of women who don’t take care of themselves, kindly, you should see the crippled, angry, overweight geezers who send me emails on Match.com. It goes both ways. And some of them are barely fifty. That to me is the tragedy. Giving up on ourselves knows no sex or age. It’s an equal opportunity offender.

As to your point about appearances, my ex used to rave about I was always dressed to the tens. Yes. Kindly. But that’s when called for. I do NOT bother with makeup if I am riding a horse across a hippo filled stream in Africa, which is what I do for a living. So with respect, the demand to keep up appearances is a bit of a prison. While I would invite anyone to do my workouts, speaking of appearances, the work we do has a lot to do with whether I’m going to show up in breeches, boots and riding helmet and NO MAKEUP for god’s sake, or a very pricey Armani jacket and heels,

If men would make more of a bloody effort, and this isn’t directed at you but in general, I wonder if women would try harder. Another chicken and egg condundr m.