Great read. And thank you from a fellow vet.
I did wish to share a slightly different perspective on forgiveness, but this has to do not with yourself but of a perpetrator. This is from a fellow Medium writer and friend Dr Rosenna Bakari: https://medium.com/illumination/forgiveness-is-the-wrong-response-to-trauma-37a002774ade
This is purely for what it's worth. Dr. B does transformational work, is a PhD in psychology and one of the most brilliant women I know. Worth a read if for nothing other than just a different take on the topic.
I am proud for you that your deep caring for another's pain caused you to care, but am sorry for the pain you carried. I have been raped and attacked too many times, most in the military. I am not glad it happened but would not trade how those events shaped who I have become. That is part of the path.