In my training classes for leaders, I do an exercise called The Perfect World. In it, two teams separate, one managers, and the other poses as the team. Both have to fill out a series of questions to describe what their perfect world looks like, what obstacles are in the way, what others have to do, the if onlys, and what others have to stop doing. Your comments, although they are warranted, fall into this category. We have a perfect world ideal where abused women feel safe enough to report to the police. That’s not reality for so many reasons that most men simply will never understand. It’s not that I don’t agree. However the reality is ugly and messy and awful and vicious and unfair. It’s all too easy to throw shoulds at a situation you’ve never been in. It’s like my sitting and watching a football game and screaming at an overpaid wide receiver for muffing a catch which cost my team the game. I’m not on the field. I don’t know what he was seeing and thinking. But boy do I have an opinion. I’m likely wrong. That’s what’s wrong with being outside looking in and using logic to try to frame something that is fundamentally illogical to begin with. Violence against women is just illogical. But its vast, overwhelming prevalence in our world, and again I have been there- defies all logic. Logic doesn’t fix this.

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Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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