It is with respect that I make this recommendation, and please take this with a block of salt. I too was on anxiety meds for two decades, lots of them, some VERY strong. What you describe is similar to what I went through two years ago when I first quit all of them. The withdrawal symptoms are as serious as cocaine or heroin withdrawal, and most of us go running back for our fix. I did too. Then last October I dug into the research on why I was suicidal and had a host of problems and illnesses that made no sense when you look at my uber healthy, athletic, thoughtful lifestyle. Short story_ the meds were killing me off. I quit, slowly, and with supplements. Waded through the swamp of withdrawal. And this is only one person’s story, and because of that may be meaningless to you or anyone else, but I took my brain back from the docs who have no effing clue what these meds will do to us long term.
My bible along the way was “A Mind of Your Own,” by Dr. Kelly Brogan. an MD, a psychiatrist and a holistic healer in one, she totally validated my gut that the meds were the problem. It might be worth a read. The meds themselves are extraordinarily toxic, and each carries with it the potential for suicide. For what it’s worth, and that’s all this is, some research might be in order. It’s hard to take control of your life and emotions back from Big Pharma, but in the long run, since these pills could cost you full 33% of your life (look it up) it’s worth it in my book.