Almost Free: Getting Out of the Jail that is Facebook (the FaceHook of Our Times)
That’s not a typo. For anyone who has ever been fly fishing and has done this to their cheeks, you know whereof I speak. A fishhook in the face is wicked hard to remove, not without a LOT of pain and agony. That’s precisely how Facebook (Facehook) is designed.
Day after tomorrow Facebook will shut down my accounts in their entirety. They make sure you have to wait a few weeks just in case you might wanna check on that one person…..and if you do, the time clock resets for another few weeks since you came back to the fold.
They really, really really do not want you off the toxic teat of social media addiction. By now most of you already know the addictive nature of the business. If you really haven’t bothered to inform yourself, here you go http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2017/11/facebook_was_designed_to_be_addictive_does_that_make_it_evil.html.
Not me baby. After a while I might consider posting a business page again, but not for a long time.
What’s happened since taking four long frustrating hours during a trip to Santa Fe to get the Facebook facehook out of my cheek?
Last night I was out at a local park with the BF and his bulldog Sophie. This has become an almost nightly excursion, which allows us to enjoy the local kids who are trying out for Rams football (the helmets and shoulder pads are a lot bigger than the kids themselves). The cool evening air hits us as soon as we open the car door. There are small clumps of kids who love Sophie, and I get to pet the parents’ dogs and talk to the old men who are sitting on the benches.
Outside, cool air, gorgeous sunsets over the mountains.
This as opposed to sitting hunched over reading endless memes about nothing. Being assaulted with unimaginable viciousness, ugliness and an anger algorithm designed to keep my blood pressure raised and my righteous indignation fueled. Keep me hooked, so that I can’t bear to spend five minutes without checking to see if some no-name liked a comment.
George Carlin did a riff years ago about parents who put bumper stickers on their cars claiming “We are the proud parents of an honor student at Blah Blah Academy.” To this he posed a perfectly legitimate question: what kind of parents are so insecure that they need to be publicly validated by the minor scholastic achievements of their prepubescent children? To this I would add, to make this riff relevant to our times, what kind of person is so deeply insecure that the quality of his or her existence is measured by the number of likes they receive from people who largely don’t give a shit about them?
Apparently lots of us. Studies show that if you add a real friend or two to your life, your quality of life jumps dramatically. Add fifty faceless friends? No added value whatsoever. None. Nada. Yet I have heard otherwise perfectly intelligent people brag about their thousands of friends on Facebook as though it were some kind of contest. Hey Skeezix, when you’re in jail, which one of those thousands of Facebook friends is going to come bail you out?
The BF also dumped Facebook. When I asked him how his life had improved, the first thing he said was that he had more time. As a software engineer who is learning a brand new code, he already spends way too much time seated in front of his computer. Facebook might have offered a diversion, but what he needed- and just left to take care of — were workout breaks. Move. Exercise. get out to watch a sunset like the above.
For my part, I spend more time in life. Rather than sit on a spreading ass watching videos of other people’s lives, munching donuts and Doritos making ludicrous comparisons to other people’s lies about their lives, I am literally and figuratively off the hook.
I just got this from FB: Julia, Facebook will start deleting your account in 2 days. After Sep 15, 2018, you won’t be able to access the account or any posts, photos or more that you’ve uploaded. If you want to cancel the deletion of your account and retrieve any of the content or information you have added, go to Facebook.
GO SCREW YOURSELF, FOLKS.
As a very competent journalist I can find anyone I need to find. Those who care about me will find me. Beyond that I frankly don’t care. The older I get the less time I want to sit and watch my life speed through my fingers like silky sand, the minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years of irretrievable life spent watching others’ manufactured lives. Getting mad about what I can’t control. Being manipulated, measured and monitored for the sake of monetization.
What will your tombstone read?
She wrote great Facebook memes.
She spent her entire adult life on Facebook, Instagram and Linked In and Pinterest and…….
Hooked from birth, he never left the house. But he bought a lot of shit online. Make folks a lot of money. RIP. Facebook sure will miss how he monetized himself.
Wait…maybe he can keep on after all….https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/e-tomb.
I can’t speak for anyone else. I’m almost home free. I can already feel the breezes in my face instead of the Facehook in my cheek. Hope to see you on the other side.