All Right. I’m Hijacking This.
An unabashed theft of good material, with attribution, and with a few comments added of my own
Every so often I get something really good from one of my fave writers (in this case, Kris Gage) and it inspires me to comment. Then I write too damned much and it ends up being an article.
As I like to share good things, here is Kris’ article about how to use Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages to take care of yourself. Read it. As with all her stuff, it’s worth your time. Here’s my response below:
To this great list, Kris, I would add the following:
- Choosing friends and partners who actually possess a love language in the first place. Lots of folks don’t. Sometimes they’re called exes.
- Never ever ever ever ever ever take (him/her/them, the abuser) back. Reread your journal and your Medium articles right after that breakup if you happen to suffer from selective memory, or self-hypnosis or a serious case of self-flagellation. Get a buzzer and a teddy bear, you’ll be a lot more satisfied in most cases.
- Find your funny. You don’t have a sense of humor, you don’t have a life.
- Stop giving such a huge shit about what others think, especially trollers and strollers who are using you as a dartboard for their complaints (because they don’t possess a love language).
- Go through your friends with a nit comb. Dump the users, abusers, the hangers-on, the whiners, the moaners and those who Do. Not. Get. You. Restock your friendship shelves with badass, funny, high-achieving, encouraging people (all of whom possess love language, see 1) above) and those who don’t treat you like their personal bank account. People who call you on your shit because, like, they possess a love language.
- Stop Fucking Taking Everything. So. Fucking. Seriously. Seriously. See 2) above.
- Get rid of every damn thing in your closet that you have to lose weight to zip back up. For Christ’s sake. You might, you might not. But as long as those pants (or skirts or whatever) are screaming at you, you’re a prisoner of What Was. What’s now is now. This goes to Kris’ point about wearing stuff that makes you feel and look good. NOW. Not someday-when-I-lose-twenty-pounds. If I had a closet with every size I ever was, Just in Case, I could outfit the entire city of Chicago and all its suburbs. Dress and buy for now. When it changes, and it likely will, change with it.
- Get a sense of humor. There’s a pattern here. Because all of it is funny.
- In fact, Finding your Funny is such a gift to ourselves it ought to be its own love language.
- Stop assuming that where you are is what it’s going to be like Forever. That goes for your honeymoon, your horrible weight gain, your depression, your stretch marks (okay, they may be there forever), your best friends. Shit changes. People come and go (literally and figuratively). Enjoy the scenery, laugh at it, love it, hug yourself, kiss a dog, a frog or whatever suits you. For me, it’s camels. But hey, each to his own.
- Okay. I’m hijacking this and turning it into an article.
- Thanks as always, Kris. As always, good work. (Um, for the uninitiated those would be Words of Affirmation. Read Kris’ article, above)