Alexander,

You’re perfectly welcome to read this story however you want. However I struggle a bit to see what qualifies as “ageism.” We will find an “ism” if we look hard enough, especially (and I am not say you are here) if we carry a chip on our shoulders. To be fair, I have dated across races, cultures, ages and a vast variety, having been single most of my good long life. I’d have been perfectly happy with a guy closer to my age- and here is the piece please- if he was an athlete, and of course there was chemistry. The older I’ve gotten, and this is true for all of us, the fewer there are of those of us who work tirelessly to be in shape. That narrows the field considerably. Most of the men my age I consider attractive are happily married. Those who are single, and of a Certain Age, and who are indeed in this kind of shape, edfound are not the slightest bit interested in woman my age. I reached out to plenty and please, you should have seen the responses about how old I was. They make- not without very good cause- the assumption that if I’m 65, then the photos cannot possibly be me, and what’s going to show up is someone’s grandmother. Or, what the hey, they just like the energy and enthusiasm of younger women. To me, that’s not ageism at all. It’s a preference. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Over time I’ve come to prefer younger men for a raft of reasons:manners, their mothers were strong so they are very comfortable with powerful women, and above all they don’t expect to be waited on hand and foot. The other sad piece, which was what I was referring to in this article, is that there seems to be a community of single men of that age who feel it’s appropriate to send nastygrams to those of us who prefer athletic men, and who also prefer a type. It’s the righteous anger and their need to tear others down that formed the basis of that article. This isn’t ageism, any more than I would accuse a badass man in his mid-sixties of ageism because he likes women in their thirties. Why shouldn’t he? And shouldn’t I date men I prefer? It’s not bragging to have a preference. If you read it that way, that’s your interpretation. I like younger men, they like me back. That’s a simple fact. No bragging stated or implied. We read whatever we choose into someone else’s material and it’s inevitable that our own stuff gets woven into that reading. The story is far more about assholes who show up badly on Match.com- not about a “look at me, I am attractive to younger men” piece. It is sad to me that it’s been my experience that men who have aged poorly, not taken care of themselves, and are clearly not happy about that are vicious to those of us who prefer fit men. Frankly, of any age. Decades of dating have led to me to prefer guys of a certain age bracket, a certain look and a very clear set of values. That’s what I have-he’s 49 and a serious bodybuilder. There is no bigotry in preferences, Alexander. We all come to like what we like. If we start calling preferences “isms” like racism and ageism, what are we going to do next? Require forced marriages just because someone feels slighted or miffed or it’s unfair that he likes HER because she’s more fit? No. With respect, Alexander, language is important here. That younger men have found me attractive doesn’t imply superiority or better than. That’s just been my experience. And as it is, older, out of shape women troll fit men with just as much ugliness and viciousness as the men do. It’s just as appalling. Simple. You have a preference and I am not it. No harm, no foul. LET’S MOVE ON ALREADY. The point of the piece was calling out foul behavior. Our society still has a hard time with May-December relationships when the woman is older. We don’t call it ageism when old men date younger women. Let’s be clear: we have preferences. That’s all it is. I appreciate your observation, as well as the chance to clarify. BTW the BF and I have been on and off for eleven years. He moved in last May. So while I appreciate your lighthearted offer, I’m set, and thanks.

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Horizon Huntress, prize-winning author, adventure traveler, boundary-pusher, wilder, veteran, aging vibrantly. I own my sh*t. Let’s play!

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